Evil Thoughts About Yourself

Today one of my recurring issues reared its ugly head — the feeling of being unworthy/worthless/not valuable. What brought it on was a trivial event. But my overly strong reaction showed that something deeper was going on that I needed to work through. My old and familiar demons had risen to the surface of my mind and were wreaking havoc on my ego self.

Why do these terrible, painful thoughts exist? I often wish I could eliminate them once and for all. God knows I’ve tried over and over again. But if everything that I experience is here to serve me on my journey, then these demon thoughts must be here to serve me in some way. I do realize that they can be a trigger for healing and growth. They force me to confront all the shadow parts of myself that I want to hide away and gloss over. They force me to take a deep dive inward, down to the very core of my being. They force me to ask, “Is this true?”

Ahhh, Truth. There it is. What is true for me? In my heart I know that I am love and I am here to be love. I know that I am peace, freedom, harmony, all that is. My ego mind thinks that I am a separate being that must struggle and strive for approval and survival. And my ego mind thinks that I must always be working and pushing to become “good enough” to be loved, accepted, and supported.

But those are all lies. Everything that the ego mind thinks and catalogs and remembers are just stories (aka lies) about a girl who lives in this world. But I am beyond all this. The truth of my nature is boundless, indescribable, and complete.

So when these seemingly painful thoughts arise that cause such torment, such distress, such pain — they are actually just a powerful call back to your true nature. And we can return to the place in our minds and hearts where we are one with peace, love, freedom, and joy. And everything else falls away.

 

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